Thoughtful

I probably don't come across as a shy person, and when I am around people I know I'm often not, but I can be. I am often suprised when people a) remember me or b) know my name! I used to hate my name, now I am not that fussed about that, but it does still, happily, suprise me when someone remembers me.
It also suprises me when people who I feel are out of my league, whether it is work (when a manager or someone high up), socially (there is always the cool group of kids runing around) or even cycling (hardc0re!) want to talk to me. I know this probably sounds silly to a lot of people who have never had these thoughts before, and it's hard for me to explain, in words on here, what I actually mean and how it makes me feel, but its kind of like getting recognition for just being, that I am not the forgettable person that I always used to think I was.

These days I rarely have the negative thoughts that I am easily forgettable, that no one would want to bother to get to know me let alone go out of their way for it, but ocassionally they do pop up. In the past 6-12 months I find I have a lot more self confidence and a higher self worth, which is a fantastic thing, and I think losing the majority of my weight really helped with that - I have become a lot more at ease with who I am and accepting of who I am, but as with all things in life, there is plenty of room for improvements.


And now for a totally different subject, I am a sucker for a smile, especially when it is owned by someone who is at ease with who they are, has a plan and can put some thought into what's happening. Now to find someone who matches that description ;)