More like it!

Now this is the kind of citizenship test I would like to see :D It gave me a good laugh :)

Yesterday someone tried to claim that my PB on my commute to work was due to being wind assisted, to that I basically replied 'arse' and today I showed it wasn't. While the entire trip time this morning was 15 seconds slower than yesterday, The Boulie part was 8 seconds faster, so basically much of a muchness to yesterday's times :D So nyer to you! :)

Last night at DISC was fun, I didn't do a lot, but I followed Nonie around for quite a few laps and spent the majority of that time above the blue line and at one point I even ventured to about half way between the blue line and the top wall on the bend - gee that's steep! It was quite noticeably harder to keep the speed up when I was coming into the bend at that height because it is up hill and I was worried that I would fall so I wanted to go even faster, but I didn't fall and it was all good :D
I prefer to be following people around at the velodrome, it gives me more of an idea of how fast I need to be going to stay upright, when I am on my own I think I go faster than I need to, but that's OK because I need to get faster anyway.

Improvements

What an awesome morning for a commute!! I woke up to see the outside temperature was 16.4 degrees!! No thermal undershirt, no leg or arm warmers and no booties or long fingered gloves - fantastic!!

This commuting one way via The Boulie thing twice a day is already starting to show results, this mornings ride along The Boulie was 1min 08secs faster than Thursday AND the entire commute was 1m 49seconds faster!! It sure didn't feel faster, but the stats don't lie.

I really enjoyed riding in this morning in the warm morning air, it was soooo nice compared to freezing on my way to work.

I am also suprising myself by how much I am actually enjoying riding The Boulie in the morning's, it really is quite enjoyable pushing myself and putting in the effort to do some quality km's instead of just getting on the bike and riding along the flat, I feel like I am achieving something, and I am!

It Feels Good!

I am back on track - officially!! This week I lost 1.1kg's :D All the exercise I did and watching what I was eating definitely paid off! Now to keep going and do it again this week!

Today I got my delivery from Pro Bike Kit consisting of pedal's for my track bike Dacks, new tyres for Dacks and a pair of sunnies. I ordered them from the UK last Sunday and got it today - now that is awesome service :D

I really enjoy watching Border Security :D

Are you up to the mark?

The Australian Government is introducing an Australian Citizenship test. At the bottom of the article are 20 sample questions that you could expect to be on the test. While I don't know that I agree or disagree with the citizenship test as such, I do think that people wanting to become Australian Citizens should be able to at least pass an English language test and that they know something about the country they now want to call home.

Oh and for the record, I didn't know the answers to three of the questions in the article.

N + 1!!

Yes, I have a new bike! :D :D It is a Specialized Langster Comp Track Bike and it is very noice and its name is Dacks! I rode it this morning around DISC for the first ride and it was really great. I can't wait till I get the proper saddle in about a months time, it should make it even better.
This morning riding around DISC the first time I went up on the boards and went around the bend the rear wheel started slipping from beneath me, I managed to save it and then discovered that I need to sandpaper the tyres to make them a bit more grippy. That done I headed out on the boards again and had a great ride! One of the guys said I look very relaxed on the bike which is a good thing. I also joined the massive train going around the velodrome today and went above the blue line etc and it really was a lot of fun :D

Yesterday I did a 60km ride from home to Black Rock and back with a stop at the BBC monthly breakfast and I was very controlled on the waffles with choc sauce.
I am a bit worried though because during the ride I started to get sore knees, it isat the front of my knee from the middle to the outside, I am going to have to do some research on what could be causing this as I need to get it fixed, of course it could just be that my knees aren't used to the distance riding because today they are fine.

I am a bit confused about the comments posted on my previous entry, they claim to be made by a friend of mine but he says that he didn't so someone is playing funny buggers, just don't know who!

This week I will be commuting again with my one way laps of The Boulie :D

More Boulie

So I commuted home last night and included my one way lap of The Boulie again! By the time I got home my legs were feeling a bit tired but decided to head down to DISC anyway, a few laps is better than nothing!
Riding around DISC my legs felt really heavy and just couldn't continue to push the gear on the club bike at a fast enough cadence so after stints out on the track I decided to just stop, stretch and save my legs for the rest of the week's commuting. I worked out the gearing on the bike I was riding and it was a 47(or 46)-16 which is a lot bigger than what is coming on my track bike, 42-16. I am happy about it because having an easier gear on the bike will help me to work on getting my cadence consistently higher.

After going to bed last night at 9:30pm and getting about 8hrs of sleep, I again commuted to work this morning via The Boulie! I am feeling a bit tired today at work, but that is to be expected really.
While I was riding up one of the inclines this morning, I was trying to decide if I was having fun or not and I worked out that I find it extremely frustrating how slow I am on the climb's but I do enjoy it and that the only way to get rid of my frustration about my lack of speed is to keep riding The Boulie!

Yesterday I ate my porridge for brekky, instead of buying something, I ate left over Spag Bol that I brought in from home and I cooked dinner. Apart from my coffee in the morning I didn't buy any food or drink the entire day - very un heard of for me, but I figure that if I am putting in the effort to do The Boulie on my commutes to work then I am going to put the effort in food wise as well. This way I also know that I am eating the right kinds of foods to fuel my cycling. Today I am also pretty hungry which I see as a good sign, I'm just glad I have lots of food in my desk draw to choose from.

This morning I was thinking about getting weighed in next Monday night and I think I have to prepare myself for the scales not showing much of a change. Yes, I am eating more food from home and drinking hardly any alcohol, if at all, but with the increase in cycling up hills, it might not show a loss as I could gain some muscle. It'l be extremely annoying if a loss isn't recorded, but I know that I am doing all the right things so it will show eventually :D

Commuting this morning

What a great morning for a commute! I am really enjoying the fact that there is light in the sky now when I am riding to work, so much so I took a bit of a detour this morning via The Boulie! I only did from Chandler to Walmar St, but I did it!

I thought I would be clever and press the lap button on my Garmin when I started at the Chandler end and then hit it again I got to Walmer St. The only problem with that is that when I hit the same button again at the Walmer st end to start a new lap it started recording again... yeah I had hit the stop button instead of the lap button Oh well, when I get home tonight and I upload the data I will be able to figure out how long it took me anyway.

While riding along The Boulie this morning, a guy riding with two of his mates made a smart arse comment 'Gee there are lots of one lap wonders out this morning' just as they were riding past me. And people wonder why cycling has the aura of being snobby and elitist.

Yes I am generally a slow rider, especially on hills and I had my backpack on which doesn't help and I think I have only done one lap of the boulie in the past 6 months which doesn't help, but at least I was out there bloody riding - if you are reading this - go shove your elitist snobbery opinion up ya bum!

My regular commute to and from work now will be via The Boulie, so at least a one way of it. In a week or two I will increase it in the mornings to be either Chandler - Walmer - Chandler - Walmer - Work or do a partial first lap of Chandler - Studley Park - Chandler - Walmer - Work or something along those lines, I will just have to see how I go really.

Yummy!

I really love the smell of onion and garlic cooking! I am making a pot of Bolognese and the house just smells awesome - I love it!! :D

Some Shopping

Yesterday I did some shopping for some much needed items, the majority of which I need because my housemate is moving out and I don't own them, things like a vacuum cleaner, an iron, a wireless router, a kettle and toaster and a track bike :D :D

9 weeks to go!

There isn't much time left to go before the Around The Bay ride - a 210km ride in the one day. It isn't going to be easy but I should manage it at my own pace providing I ramp up my training a bit more.
Now that I am getting back into commuting to work that will help and I need to push up my weekend rides from 60-70km's to 100km's or so and throw in a few 120-140km rides as well. Combine this with also heading to DISC once or twice a week or a boulie hit out then it should be all good. If I don't commute or ride due to foul weather then I will also try to throw in a spin class or 2, heck I might do that anyway even if I have commuted to work that day!

Today at lunch I went for a 35 min walk down to the Yarra River again. It wasn't a face paced walk but I wasn't meandering either - it was really nice to be out in the sunshine.

So today, I have commuted to work and back (well will be in a few hours) done a 35min walk and will be heading to DISC tonight for 30-60 minutes on the track! Man if I don't sleep well tonight something is really wrong!

I did it!

I rode to work today and it was bloody cold!! It was 3 degrees at my house when I rolled out the door. The reason I haven't been commuting is to avoid the cold air but I had been planning to ride today since last week and the only thing that would have stopped me was rain!

My lungs are a bit sore now from the cold air and I have a bit of a cough but it is ok.

It wasn't the greatest time/speed or anything, which is to expect because In the past 2-3 weeks I haven't done much other than about 30 minutes at DISC each week, I haven't even done a spin class for 2 weeks.

Ready To Roll

Back pack packed - check
Lunch made - check
Garmin charging - check
Pedals on Smurfy - check
Lights on Smurfy - check
Tyres pumped up - check
Really unsure about riding tomorrow - check
Really need to ride tomorrow - check
Is it going to be cold in the morning - check :(
Will I feel great once I get 5-10 mins down the road on Smurfy and feel awesome at work - check

Wanted: A New housemate!

Yes, my housemate has told me that she is going to move out! She hasn't given me 30 days notice yet but has told me she is going to start looking. So, I am now in the market for a new housemate!

I can afford the rent on my own for a while if needed, but it isn't ideal so I need to start looking now - here are the details:
3BR unit in Thornbury between High St and Victoria Rd and North of Darebin Rd (about 3km's from DISC) 2 bedrooms to be rented to the new housemate and as a result rent is not 50/50 but all bills will be split 50/50 regardless. Bond will also be 1 month of rent and access to use everything in the shared rooms of the house (fully furnished) and has to be cycling friendly.

If you are interested or know anyone that could be then let me know!!

Emotional

I have had an extremely emotional week. I had my Nana's funeral on Monday, my last Grandparent and it was emotional beyond description.
After the funeral we all went back to my Nana's place and drinks were consumed by most except for me as I was driving. My brother who has been extremely distant since we got back in contact with my Dad had a bit of a D and M with my sister and a few things were said and hopefully this will lead to a positive friendly future with him. I went back to work on Tuesday and then worked from home on Wednesday as I was so physically and mentally exhausted.

Friday night I had many many drinks with my sister at her place. I hadn't sat down and really spoken about the previous week with any of my family and after a few drinks it all poured out of me and it was good that it did - these things can't be bottled up inside. I let her know just how much it hurt that I had lost touch with my brothers when we were younger and how much I hated my father and mother for that and how i have manged to kind of forgive my dad for it but I will never forget. These things are in the past but they still need to be delt with and spoken about. I need to tell all this to Cameron, and I will, but in my own time and at the right time.

I have been thinking for the past week about removing one of pieces of jewellery from a piercing and this morning I did. I have tried to pinpoint why I was thinking of removing it and I think it comes down to no longer feeling the need to be different. It is hard to explain. I can notice it, things I would subconciously do now feel weird and different. I never really noticed the piercing in day to day life, which after 7+ years you would expect it to be that way.

I have been having some head issues lately about riding. I don't feel like I belong on a bike, that people look at me and have the thoughts that I shouldn't be out there riding and I don't belong. It is all really rather stupid but they are the thoughts I have been having and while I know it sounds stupid, it is hard to get past. I am working on getting around it and I just have to get on the bloody bike and ride, I really do, I just need to ride! I need to look for reasons to ride and not reasons not to ride.

Lunch time walks are great!

I decided to go for a walk today during my lunch break to enjoy the sunshine instead of just going to the kitchen to eat and watch the tv. I walked down Bridge road and went down to the edges of the Yarra River, under the bridge, past the rowing clubs and then back up to bridge road and back to the office - all up I think I was only gone about 30 minutes. It wasn't a fast walk, just a nice comfy pace and my foot only hurt a little bit.

Now I am sitting at my desk eating my yummy chicken and egg sanga that I actually made this morning and brought to work and then soon I may eat either my banana or apple

A fresh start

I am generally a positive person, but from today I am going to try to be more positive and a hell of a lot less lazy!
Life is too short to not be happy, I know this, we all know this, but we don't always live this. I know that I have gained some of the 28kg's I have previously lost, so I am getting back on track in that regards. I am going to be less lazy with my food and be more organised and plan it a bit more by including more variety and regular food shopping. When I eat properly, I feel so much better and when I feel better I exercise more and all of this makes for a better happier world for me - so I am going to do it. I am also going to cut down my alcohol consumption because it really is empty calories - if there is a choice between having some delicious fresh pasta from Cardomones in Fairfield or a glass of wine, then the pasta will win hands down! Mmmmm pasta - might have to buy some on the way home tonight!

I know what I have to do to be happy and now im simply going to do it - it really is that easy to do when you are in the right frame of mind! I know I can do it as I used to do it.

The funeral yesterday was naturally very emotional, but the celebrant read something out that my Nana had written, she had written three pages about what she wanted for her funeral, even down to who the celebrant was to be! The bit he read out was this 'This is to be a HAPPY funeral' It really does sum up my Nana.

I haven't done any exercise since last Tuesday night and I have done plenty of consumption over this week so I am feeling rather blergh and combined with lack of sleep and the emotional few days that I have had I feel pretty crappy, but that's life and tonight I will get back on the bike and do some circle work and get back into the swing of things. I need to stop coming up with excuses and just do things and this is part of being more positive and less lazy!

I went to watch an ITT down at The Boulie on Sunday morning. It was good to see how differently a club runs these in comparison to the ATTA ones. I don't know if I will do the September one or not, but at least now I can see what happens so it isn't as foreign to me, still scary though ;) It was also great to meet Carl!

Time doesn't matter

Sarah, You are the best friend I have ever had, I don't know if you realise this, but you are.
I am glad you responded tonight, but I couldn't tell you what I wanted to though. I couldn't say that I was having bouts of hypervantilation while talking to you on MSN as you were about to head to bed and that I just wish I had someone to hold me while I cried, I did tell you though what I needed to say and I meant it! I miss you so much as a friend, I really do, so I may need to call on you on my way home. I am sorry! If I lived closer than a 1hr drive to you, like a 10-20min drive I know I would see you all the time, it really sucks how much distance is between us - I hate it!!

Underated

Hugs - they really are underated in a big way. So is human contac..., it really is...

Not like me

I don't even know what I am wearing to the funeral tomorrow. Normally I would have thought about something like this and made sure I had something clean and suitable to wear, but I haven't.
I am driving myself to Rosebud tomorrow so I don't have to be compelled to do what others are doing at any given time.
I am taking some of my Collingwood stuff, a book and my scarf, I even washed it!, to put on a table at the funeral home and the theme song on CD for them to play. I was asked if I wanted to say something at the funeral, but I just know I will choke up and not be able to get my words out. We have to get there early to setup the table and greet people as they arrive - I really am going to be a mess I reckon, even just thinking about it I am crying.

Random thoughts

I have been writing down some things over the past few days.....

I have friends that I would call if I was stranded somewhere, but when it comes to real life and death situations there is actually no one I would call. No one I want to talk to about things, or spend time crying on their shoulders. I have shut myself out from these things.

It can be the slightest thing that can make me cry about it. I have some beautiful flowers sent from work and they made me smile and then cry and now they just make me smile, but something random can just make me want to cry about my Nana.

Today, Friday, I have consumed half a bottle of Malibu Rum, a bottle of white wine and half a bottle of red wine... yes I decided to have a bender and simply because I could.

I have these moments where I keep picturing the last image I have of my Nana alive in the hospital bed in Intensive Care. She has a tube in her mouth, has about 5 or 6 drugs being pumped into her along with being attached to the dialysis machine. Her eyes are partially open and by the time we leave her bedside she actually looks more relaxed than when we first arrived even though she is in a drug induced coma.
She really didn't want to be dependent on machines for life and she wouldn't have wanted to be in a nursing home. She was still living independently in her own house with no assistance.

Driving to go watch my brother play footy today, a song came on the radio and a line in the song made me cry, it can be something simple like that. My brothers footy team all wore black arm bands for today's match.
After the footy I didn't really want to go home and I didn't want to go to my sisters or do anything really so I decided to go for a drive... I ended up driving ~450km's.

I really don't want to be doing anything. I don't want to be watching tv, I don't want to be on the computer, I don't want to read, I don't want to be around people. I don't want to be eating or drinking... I just want for time to pass. I kinda wish I could spend the day lying in bed sleeping or just staring at the wall, but then I don't just want to stare at a wall either. Instead, I find my self having a few glasses of wine, eating far too much chocolate and watching some stages of the TdF that I recorded, but I really am just staring at the tv screen.
I may have to literally force myself to get on the bike tomorrow or something. I would go for a walk but my foot hurts too much for me to wander aimlessly or even just workout in anyway other than on a bike.

I saw my brother Cameron today, he arrived back from OS last night. While he is in favour of Dad and us being back in contact, he has made it very clear from his body language and attitude that he doesn't want to have anything to do with Jayne and I - my brothers are half brothers (from my dad's second marriage). When he left two months ago he didn't even tell us that he was leaving the country. While I find this dissapointing, it is his choice to make - 10 years is a long time and he probably remembers some of the stuff that happened. Well this morning it was all OK. We were talking like there was no problem, he didn't make us feel like we weren't welcomed and it was simply awesome to have a normal conversation with him., it really was - a full on normal conversation that two people would have, let alone a brother and a sister!! I don't know if it will last or if it is because he has spent time away or he has had time to reflect about family since Nana's death but I am not going to question it - it was really a great thing to have a conversation with my brother, so much so that words really can't describe it, they really can't and I hope it lasts.

Shocked

R.I.P Nana