So disappointed

A "friend" of mine just joined a cyclist hate group on Facebook - this has greatly disappointed me and here was my comment

No need to argue, rules are rules - people  need to deal with that and yes, this is a sore point for me - the below is not aimed at anyone, but I hope to educate people - education is needed, I am not wanting to attack anyone.

For the record, people over the age of 12 are NOT allowed to ride on the footpath unless they are riding with someone under the age of 12.  The foothpath is actually really dangerous for cyclists with cars coming out of driveways.

Bike paths are not safe when riding over 20km/h when they are shared paths with walkers, kiddies on bikes and dogs on/off leads - not good for either party if there is a collision.

Cyclists are allowed to use the ENTIRE lane of a road and they ARE allowed to ride 2 wide!  A group of 2 wide cyclists can then use a second lane to pass a slower group of 2 wide cyclists.

If you want any more laws and rules, let me know.

BTW, I do pay rego - for my car and the fact that out of almost $600 about $50 goes towards the maintenance of the road seems to not be realised by the majority of people - the rest of the money goes towards the TAC insurance for vehicle accidents.  Think about the wear and tear on the road made by a cyclist as opposed to a car - it's pretty minimal really.  Also consider that you may only be slowed down by 30 seconds - how is 30 seconds the end of the world?

Also, yes I agree that some people on bikes (refuse to call them cyclists) break the law and it drives me NUTS!  BUT there are red light camera's for cars for a reason!
A lot of drivers PISS ME OFF as a driver and so do a lot of people on bikes - please do not tar everyone with the same brush - it's kinda like saying that everyone in sunbury are bush pigs or something... (just as an example)

Cyclists are people - it could be your mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, cousin, work colleague or friend etc. how would you feel if they were 'taken out' by someone that was just being impatient?

Again, this is not a personal attack on anyone, but I just want to educate and make people think

Health update

I got the results of my CT Scan of my chest last week and it showed nothing!  I think this is actually more frustrating than coming back with showing something is wrong.  I spoke to the specialist and he wants to see the scans at my next appointment in 2-3 months time and form his own opinion as he really does think that I have Bronchiectasis due to all the coughing and phlegm etc.

So now I wait again...

Sooo tired

Gee I'm tired tonight, but it's a good tired!  This morning I spent an hour digging up the last part of my front yard with a garden form to mix the souls togehter and dig through some goodies to improve the soil - bloody hard work!  I had that much sweat dripping off my head (my head sweats a lot) that it was not only running into my eyes and stinging but dropping onto my glasses!

Then after lunch/brekky and an impromptu nap in the arm chair I decided to go and collect some rocks for my front yard and then my wheelbarrow died but I may have been able to fix it  so will give it another go tomorrow to collect some more.

This morning I also went ot the market and bought some more plants! :D

Waiting

Today I had a CT Scan done of my chest and I've been trying to play google Dr to see if I can identify if I do have Bronchiectasis but (un)fortunately I'm crap and can't tell, according to some of the scans I may have but then others not so tomorrow I will call the specialist to find out.  It's made me feel really shit tonight, I just really want a hug and to have someone hold me and comfort me but that's not going to happen.  It's been such a long time since that's happened and right now it would be so nice -sigh-  Sometimes it would also be nice for someone to ask me how I am or how my day was and not just expect the generic 'yeah ok' as a response - I'm not OK, I'm over being sick.  Tonight I've seriously had enough of being a strong person and holding everything together.
Sometimes I really think that I am destined to be single, I just feel so horribly ugly and worthless sometimes I understand how no one could like me, I mean how can they if I don't like me.

I hate being sick and I really hate the thought of an incurable disease that might one day kill me due to heart failure or not being able to get enough oxygen etc - why is it that I am the only member of my family that has never smoked and I am the one with the fucked up crappy lungs?!?!   I know that life is not meant to be fair but sometimes it really does suck.

Specialist Appointment #2

So today I had my appointment with the allergy specialist and he seems to think that I probably do have Bronchiectasis... bleh!  For now he doesn't want me to go to see a specialist about it as my lungs have improved with the change of asthma medication and he would like to see how they go over another couple of months and into winter.  I may still end up going to see a specialist about it as if can't cough up all the gunk trapped in my bronchi then they will also be able to tee me up with a physio to help and to teach me how to  - kind like how people with cystic fibrosis have to.

I'm got the paperwork to go get a CT Scan done of my chest which will be able to help with the diagnosis.

He also said that the spirometry test I did doesn't really prove that I do or don't have asthma, just that when I'm not in an asthma attack that I have good/high lung function but the fact that the new meds (symbicot) are helping is great.

This has a good description - http://www.lung.ca/diseases-maladies/a-z/bronchiectasis-bronchiectasie/index_e.php

A bit bleh

I had the flu vaccine today and I'm feeling kinda ordinary now, I even left work early.  I just feel really flat and was headachey too.

I don't think it helps that tomorrow I'm also going back to see the specialist about my lungs and breathing - a lot on my mind in regards to that, most likely be sent off for a CT scan or something and possibly be told I'm not actually asthmatic, I dunno....

A big job ahead

Why do we keep abusing our bodies and treating them like crap?  Sure a lot fo the time it's enjoyable, tasty, easier, etc BUT we only get the one, so why do I find it so hard to treat myself well by eating and exercising properly?  We have become such a lazy society and I am ashamed that I am part of that.  Ofcourse I wasn't always, before I hurt my back I was cycling ~300km's+ a week!  I need to get back there but it's tough, it's far from easy and it's also frustrating, but I really need to so it, I was really happy with that lifestyle and while my current lifestyle is easier, it's no where near as enjoyable.

Blood test

Last October I had some blood tests done and they came back saying that I was extremely low in Vitamin D and there was a marker for my liver that was a bit NQR as well.  My Doctor suggested I cut down on my alcohol (which I did) and also start taking Vitamin D supplements each day and try to spend as much time in the sun at the start or end of the day with no long sleeves and no hat or sunscreen and then get re tested in 3-4 months time.

Last Monday when I was at the Dr's I figured it was a good time to get things checked again - the good news is that my Liver is now fine (well he never mentioned it) and that my Vitamin D has increased but I still need to take the supplements.  In October my Vitamin D was at 35 and it's now increased to 84 but he wants it to be over 100 and preferably closer to 200 or more - I didn't realise just how low it was!!

Unfortunately there are now some other concerns -sigh- my Zinc level is low and that's important to your immune system so I even though I increased my seafood intake over summer I need to maintain it as well as eating more seeds and wholegrains and then get re-tested in 6-12 months.

The tests also showed that I have an infection.  My white blood cell count was high which may suggest bacterial infection or an inflammatory disease - even though I haven't felt ill, I have been really tired and that is probably why. That could also lead in and support the theory that the specialist thinks could be wrong with my chest/lungs

Can you hear me?

You gotta be out there, you gotta be somewhere, wherever you are I'm waiting 'cause there are these nights when I sing myself to sleep, And I'm hopin' my dreams bring you close to me.
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out, I'm ready now, turn my world upside down,  find me.
I'm lost inside the crowd, it's getting loud, I need you to see, I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

Can you hear me?

I used to be scared of, letting someone in, but it gets so lonely being on my own, no one to talk to and no one to hold me I'm not always strong, Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me

I'm cryin' out I'm ready now, turn my world upside down, find me, I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud, I need you to see, I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild I fall, but I try I need someone to understand.  Can you hear me?  I'm lost in my thoughts  and baby I've fought for all that I've got can you hear me?

Hear me

I'm cryin' out, I'm ready now, turn my world upside down, find me, I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud, I need you to see, I'm screaming for you to please, hear me


Can you hear me?


-- Hear Me by Kelly Clarkson


This song really sums up my thoughts

Why?

I have so much on my mind and so much to say but I can't seem to find the right words for it to put it down on paper to make it make sense.  Some people could look at my life and say it's quite boring and sometimes I would agree, but it's mine and I am in control and I do what I want when I want, but when something unexpected happens, why do I worry so much about the ways in which it could go and why do I feel so uneasy about it?  I know that a lot of it is due to past history and things just not eventuating or continuing or whatever but I think most of it is because I'm not in control - I don't feel comfortable with not being in direct control of what's going to happen, it's not something I'm familiar with.